Us aside, Ashlee had a pretty peaceful night and was able to sleep until about 6:30 a.m. At which time she woke up and told us to turn her because she had been on her back for too long. Occasionally she can stay in one position for quite sometime, and other times we are moving her every 10-15 minutes. Once we get her comfortable she can usually relax and sleep for awhile.
This weekend has been a difficult one for her. Carlee had a dance competition on Saturday morning and again on Sunday. Saturday night was also Carlee's senior prom. It was rough for Ashlee not to participate in any of those activities. She asked me Saturday morning if we were going to take her to see Carlee dance. I hated to tell her no, but there was no way to make that work. She also asked her mom. It is extremely hard for Judy to not be able to take her places and do things with her. I know watching her just lay in bed is hard on Judy. We all wish she could spring up and walk again.
Today was a better day because it was spa day. Her cousin Michelle came over and highlighted her hair. Saturday morning she had repeatedly asked us when she was going to get her highlights. So I called Michelle and put the wheel in motion. Even though she desperately wanted to get them done, it ended up being a very painful experience for her. She isn't able to sit up for long periods of time, and it hurts to move or touch her neck at times. Somehow between her wheelchair and her mom sitting behind her and supporting her in bed, she got the highlights she wanted. She won't let us take any pictures of her, so you will just have to take my word for it that they look pretty fabulous.
Later on in the day, she put in her order with Carlee for her trip to the grocery store. She requested hotdogs, ravioli (the mini kind, which she stressed to us to make sure we understood that anything else was not acceptable!) and perhaps some strawberry Uncrustables. They may have been nixed at the end, because she learned that we already had grape Uncrustables. She was very explicit about what she wanted and she made sure that Carlee was taking it down correctly.
I know we all celebrate when she shows any interest in food. On Saturday morning, Mitch and I were talking to her about food trying to tempt her appetite. And she says to us, "I could go for a cheese and bacon bagel." Mitch and I looked at each other perplexed because we knew we didn't have that in the kitchen. She went on to add an order of hashbrowns and hot chocolate. She informed us we could get this at McDonalds and that is what she wanted for breakfast. We had our marching orders. Luckily, her Dad popped in and he was more than happy to make the trip for her. She was able to eat a couple of bites of everything and drank almost all of her hot chocolate.
When I left her this evening, she was waiting for Carlee to come back from Walmart. In addition to the food, Carlee was getting her prom pictures printed out so she could share them with Ash. Mitch was laying with her and the family was outside giving them some alone time. When I went to tell her goodbye, she thanked me for coming. She always does this. She always says thank you and is so very geniune about it. It brings tears to my eyes. While seeing her like this is very hard on me, I know not being able to see her at all will be even harder.
No matter what though, I don't want to see her suffer. So I hope that her passing will be peaceful. I hope and pray that she will just go to sleep. I find myself not only praying for a miracle, but also praying for peace for her and our family. Judy espcially needs everyone's support because this is the hardest thing she will ever have to do.
So as you read this, please stop and say a prayer not only for Ashlee, but also for Judy. Pray for her to find the strength to continue to care for her daughter. Pray for our family so that we can find the right words of comfort for Judy.
I'm adding one of my favorite pictures of Ashlee and Carlee together at the end of this post. I think the love they have each other speaks for itself.
Heather
1 comment:
My name is Katie Gulas and I met Ashlee in Earth Science our freshman year. I don't think that I can even remember all of the amazing times we had together or all of the inside jokes but I'll try.
The first thing that brought me and Ashlee together was the fact that we both were from smaller, Catholic grade schools. We became the "CSers" short for Catholic Schoolers along with Laura Paramo. Everyday Ashlee and I would trek from Earth Science across the entire building and up three flights of stairs. How we managed to do that AND talk at the same time I will never know.
The next thing that Ashlee and I did together was Drivers Ed. I don't even know how we both got through Mr Saunders' class without laughing too loud. I will never forget when Ashlee fell out of her chair trying to check out the cute boy in the next row. Classic. We both couldn't stop laughing when our teacher tried to describe a deer with "big antelopes". Of course he meant "antlers". The deer with big antelopes proceeded to cross the medium (he meant median) and ran towards the empress casino, not that Mr Saunders "gambled or anything but the food there is good".
Somewhere along the way Ashlee started calling me C-Cup (I don't think I need to explain this) and I called her my AK Dawg. Another thing that I don't know how it got started was my Cher impression and my Minnesotan accent. One time this year, Ashlee literally called me JUST to have to talk with a Minnesotan accent.
Junior and senior year we both played powder puff together. I'll never forget the last play of our Junior year game. We were going to lose, it was inevitable but I wasn't going to go down without a fight. I was QB and Ashlee was one of my wide receivers. I was put in because the other QB was off somewhere and was no where to be found. I turned to Ashlee and I said "I'm going to throw it to you." and she was like "OK I'll catch it." I threw the ball she caught it and we scored a TD. It didn't win us the game but it really meant a a lot to me. I knew I could count on her. Then Senior year I remember going to Baker Square afterwards and Ashlee getting really REALLY upset when the waiter wouldn't let her order the Mac'n'cheese off of the kids menu.
I think it was junior year when Ashlee joined Scholastic Bowl. OK, maybe she wasn't exactly the highest point scorer but she really helped us out with some dance and theater questions. I remember one time, for a 4 part bonus question she just wrote "Arabesque for all parts" and, actually, one of them was right! The other really nice thing about having Ashlee on Scholastic Bowl was that I didn't have to spend ALL of my time talking with some of the "socially challenged" boys.
College and I separated us but there were times when she would randomly call or IM me and ask me for help on a quiz she was working on. That's how we rolled. We didn't have to be with each other every single day to know that we had each other's back. When I would come home we would hang out and go to a movie.
One time she picked me up in her convertible. We just just riding along and I noticed a string hanging from the ceiling just above the windshield. Yup... it was a tampon. She put it there because the roof was leaking. It was totally ingenious and it totally worked.
Sorry this is so long but I really wanted to share with everyone my time with Ashlee. She's one of my best friends and I am praying for her and her family every single day. God Bless.
Love,
Katie "C-Cup" Gulas
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